SURVIVIOR:
I am starting to spread the word that there are surviors from truma and abuse.I am spreading the word becuase many have not lived on to tell of the trouble.Many have it far worse then I they lost body parts and such. My story does not compare to otheres yes I have flasbacks but thats the only prove I have that these things happen no scars from this phyiscally. I admit this may be hard for many to read as it is long but true but I've lived to tell of this so I will share to let those who survived the abuse or truama they are not alone and becuase I am ready to share my story. I was born 6 weeks to late on November 23,1985 my theory on that is i missed my twin whom died in the first trimester, I now refer to her as Abby for my own sake.My first 2yrs of life was somethin called jr.cheerleading(todler girls cheering for preshooler boys sports) and alot of time with grandparents. At 3 a matter of fact a few days after my 3rd birthday I trusted christ as my savior thats when things turned upside down at least thats the way it seems to me. December 2nd 1988 I was hurt in a way no child should have ever been. We were on the way home from my Irish dance leason in the vechile called a blazer jhonny and his mother came with my mother to pick me up. On the way home we stoped at a store mommy and bevey(his mother's name) where just going into the store quickly for a couple items leaveing me and jhonny alone in the car back then these things wernt so much worried about ya know a nine yr old keepin an eye on a 3yr old in a car for 10-15 mins was no big deal now it is and it is now wich is a good thing. I still had my turqiose blue panties on and I had put my light pink curodory pants back on and my white turtleneck shirt with dark pink flowers on it back on and had changed back from dress shoe's to my pink and white sneakers. So while we were sitting there jhonny aperntly has planed out how to harm me. So first he says let me check your diaper I may have only been 3 but I wasn't any damn fool. I told him I was a biggirl I dont wear diapers anymore. So he gets real queit for a min then he picks me up outa my seat not a carseat or booster seat just outa where I was sitting. Then he stands me on the floor pulls down my pants and panties as I called them back then then he proceeds as (I am in shock at this moment I am in a car in 20 degree wether half stripped with an older boy) to stick his finger up my pepee(realy up the viganal opening I didnt know the diffrence then) I am screaming no and stop at him and for mommy and bevey to help I didnt know what else to do. He did stop before mommy and bevey got there I am sittin there in tears gasp tears mommy gasp tears he hurt me gasp tears shakeing he put his finger up me gasp tears more shaken she denied it on the spot i kept shaken and gaspin in tears between agruging with my mother when we got home I ran to daddy as fast as I could whispered daddy dont let me go and stayen shaken and cryn in his arms the rest of the night and I didn't eat supper that night.While in 1990 I hadn't turned 5 yet I got a sister I was supose to get 2 her twin died in the second trimester. So things were reltivly peaceful till she turned 3 I was 7 (execpt for at 5 she slapped me so hard that I landed on the floor a nd it almost knocked the wind outa me)at the time mother decides to pull a disapering act and when she returns 3 days later is volient towards all. Well this went on till I was 9 when we got a new sister and my mother and her boyfriend shared a room in my dad's house. Every night that they wernt away with Amber I had to give Amber her bottle and put her to bed.When I was 10 we got a baby brother the day I had my first wrist surgery and somtimes mother would take us me and Becka now 6 with on the turck. On more then 1 occasion dad had to pick us up. Then Becka and I lived with dad and his gf who would often smacks us around and pull our hair. I went to live with my aunt for a yr when i was 14 almost 15 and well I went cuz back home was thrateed with a Gun while lets just say 1 teacher had a thing for female students so would always poke them on the shoulder in sexual manner he got away with it cuz my friends were chicken shits. Then for 4yrs while my mother was not alowwed to see my sibs execpt on suprived vists guess who was suprivisor me dad was to lazy dad also had me careing for them on my own he payed for roof over our head thats it I had to many of times beg food off nebbhiors to feed Amber and Aaron and if there was nything left in the pot Becka and I would split it. Every once in awhile my mother still threatens an or hits me but not nearly as bad or as much as she use to. I thankfully no longer live with her though I did for 2yrs after dad died it was just an ocassinal smack then. So this ends the story of how I was abused. I didn't metioion my dis or hospitals cuz thats not what it was about.
